31 Weeks

I can't believe he'll be here in less than 2 months! I can't wait...and yet we have so much to do.

Everybody Needs a Bosom for a Pillow

Ben found this rather poetic description on Craig's List; I thought I would share it with you, Internet. I think someone down at Seymour Ford missed his calling as a novelist.

Is there a doctor nearby? Runs so smoothly, you may need to borrow a stethoscope. Luxury for a fraction of the cost of new. No cigarette burns or dirty ash trays here. This previously owned vehicle was a Non Smoker vehicle. Let this vehicle wrap you up in the bosom of comfort with Side and Rear Airbags. Ye“& it was previously loved, but still looks like it just rolled off of the assembly line. Vehicle was a local trade, why not keep it in the hometown family? Previous owner purchased it brand new! Rest assured with this purchase. It has been given the seal of approval by our Service Department.

My favorite line is the "bosom of comfort".

Early Audition for Cirque du Soleil

We had our 30 week ultrasound today. It was so good to see him again...and yes, he is DEFINITELY a he. I had this overwhelming fear the other night oh, around two in the morning, that he was really a girl and there was, I don't know, a stick or something in there with him.

We got to see him in 3-D mode, but he was down for his winter's nap and wouldn't move into the most accommodating of positions. We got to see that he already has a good deal of hair on top of his noggin. We also found out that he is quite the contortionist. He had his leg over his head most of the time, and that coupled with the umbilical cord made seeing him a little fuzzy, but we got some pics. Here's one for your viewing pleasure. It's kind of hard to make out, but he has his hand over his face. He looks quite comfortable.



Only ten more weeks to go. I can't wait to meet this little guy!

Dedicated to my Beloved Relatives Who Live in Sunny California

My grandparents, Aunt Dolores and Uncle Sal, and Aunt Linda live near San Francisco, and I know they would love to be here experiencing this deluge of snow (my tone, since you can't hear my thoughts, is sarcastic). I took these pictures for them...








Our two cars are in that parking lot somewhere.



I think this is what they call "snowed-in". Aaandd (I know...I just started a sentence with a conjunction) because of all this snow, these cupcakes will not be inhaled by hungry WCA teenagers due to our snow day, but will instead be taken to a Christmas party we're going to tonight.

I Found my Camera Cord!

My camera/computer cord has been missing for the last couple months. And by missing I mean right in our desk drawer in front of my own eyes as I shuffled through the mess to look for it.

So, I thought I'd post some pregnancy pics (in chronological order).


When he was wee




Dressed up as Juno for the Halloween dance that I chaperoned.


Getting ready for Thanksgiving deliciousness.


Compare/Contrast (NOTE: Rachel is not pregnant...she just came to visit last week and we took this picture together.)


I seem to like this pose.


Pay no attention to the puffy face...it's all an illusion (says the voice in my head).

I'm So Tired.

I am officially in my third trimester (as of two weeks ago) and the rundown feeling I experienced during my first trimester is back. I cannot get over how tired I am. Not just sleepy, but entire body could hibernate for the next two months. I don't understand this phenomenon. Is this my body's way of saying,

"Oh, hey, you know how your little guy wakes up at about 3:30 a.m. and starts kicking and somersaulting and doesn't take a break until about 9:00 a.m., yeah...that's going to be your life in about 10 weeks, so why don't we get as much sleep as we possibly can now to preserve an ounce of your sanity."

It could be a possibility. Another thing that makes me mentally tired...the never-ending mental list that plays over and over in my head. Since I'm a list person and have not officially committed my cranial list to paper, here, Internet for your reading pleasure, is a list of things I need to get done between now and January 5.

-Write 6 exams for administrative review before Christmas break
-Read 15 more "Epic" papers by Monday
-Edit nearly 200 midterm comments by Tuesday
-Grade 11 Persuasive Essays by Tuesday
-Create Lesson plans for the week by Monday
-Finish my Christmas shopping by next Monday
-Make sugary sweets for my students by Friday
-Get Baby "Buford's" (not his official name) room painted (all of which will probably done by Ben)
-Get our new room situated (most of which will be done by Ben)
-Attempt to organize my long-term sub plans
-Eat pizza
-Apologize for my noxious gas

and

-A partridge in a pear tree

I'm sure there's more, but that'll do, pig, that'll do.

Teaching + Pregnancy = Leverage

Yesterday a student was beginning to argue with me over an assignment when I overheard another student whisper this to him:

"Don't make her mad again."

Hormones, the perfect scapegoat.

Sorry for Baby-Themed entries

I remember before I was pregnant (vaguely) that I would pridefully (& ignorantly) say to myself, "I will not let my life be consumed by pregnancy or a kid...I'm sure other people don't want to hear (or read) about MY baby." Oh, Jeanette from 8 months ago, how naive and ignorant you were. Because, now, I don't care. I love him and it is my assumption that everyone else loves him, too. Even though he's not here yet, he consumes my thoughts. So, sorry, but here is yet another entry about my pregnancy and my anticipation of his arrival. Deal with it...(all 3 of you readers).

So, I'm officially in my 3rd trimester. I had a doctor's appointment yesterday (where a friend of mine and I just missed each other). My sugar test came back great! Which is shocking, seeing as my diet consists of candy and cereal (candy cane, candy corn...). I have a 3-D ultrasound scheduled for Dec. 22 to see if I will need a C-section or not. We're 2/3 of the way there...which brings me to my next train of thought.

Oh my word! We are almost there! I don't have anything! I'm so nervous about this. I know that I'm over exaggerating (I know, crazy...me over exaggerate). We have a crib, some clothes, and a diaper bag. I know everything will fall into place...but I'm just anxious about everything.

Something that I am far more anxious about is the fact that I will be in charge of a little human. I'm not worried about Ben...he's so together and calm about things. I, on the other hand, flip out when I haven't felt him move in a half hour span. But, oh my word. How will I know what to do with him? What if he doesn't like me? What if I don't feed or change him when I'm supposed to? What if? What if? What if? I know somewhere, a mother is rolling her eyes.

Okay, freak out...done (for the next 20 minutes).

On a slightly grosser note, my 1st trimester gas is back with a vengeance. I feel so sorry for Ben and my students and the general public. Yikes!

Reflections on Nov. 17 - 20

Reflections on...

being sick whilst pregnant. This past weekend I came down with a cold. Usually, when I get a cold, I'm a baby about it for, oh, two days. However, common cold coupled with pregnancy equals dramatic performance of the year. I have been miserable this week...just ask anyone who has dared to stumble across my path. My colds are never this horrible, I think b/c I usually seek some sort of medicinal relief; however, with baby gestating, I was leery of taking anything. Finally, day 3 into "cold from Lucifer", I buckled and was told I could take some Tylenol Cold. At night, however, my nasal passages decided to play cruel jokes on my sleep patterns. Do you remember that scene in Sleepless in Seattle where Annie (Meg Ryan) and Walter (Bill Paxton) are getting ready for bed and they go through this whole routine just so he can sleep b/c of his allergies? That was me this week. Ben would steam up the bathroom for me, I took hot showers at 2:00 in the morning, I stuffed tissues up my nose to alleviate the dryness, nothing worked. That is until I saw a commercial for Breathe Right Nasal Strips . I immediately ran out to the store and bought some. Oh, my friends, I cannot recommend these nasal friends enough. They have restored my sleeping patterns. They are a Godsend, and they're right in your cold medicine aisle. The cold seems to be dissipating, thankfully. Here's hoping that this will be the only cold I contract whilst pregnant.

Reflections on...

Parent/Teacher conferences whilst pregnant with amazingly horrible gas. Yesterday, we had parent/teacher conferences. At our school, we do them in one clean shot. High School teachers will sit in the gym at assigned tables from 12:30 - 8:00 at night (with an hour dinner break) and parents can come around to each table to discuss their child. It's just a lot of sitting and talking, but with snot clogged up to the wazoo and the gaseous activity of a large elephant, I was somewhat uncomfortable last night. I don't think it helped that I consumed meat balls during lunch...this only seemed to anger the gastrointestinal gods. I seriously would get up from my chair, walk over to a corner in the gym and let the gaseous symphony play it's putrid music. At one point, my friend Heather walked over to me and I had to quickly meet her half way so that she would not be caught up in the funk of partially digested meatballs. Bonus for parent teacher conferences this year: no crying parents.

Reflections on...

glucose testing today. So, I had to go have lab work done today to test for gestational diabetes. Every pregnant woman has to do it between 25 - 28 weeks. I have been warned about this test. It requires the woman to drink a small glass of this sugary concoction. Nearly every woman that I know who has had this test done has warned me about the vile taste of the drink they make you imbibe. So, I don't know if I had just prepared myself for cup-o-nasty, but she gave it to me and I thought she had mistakenly given me Orange Faygo; I loved it! The nurse was like, "you only have five minutes to drink this." I took a drink and wondered why this was not a beverage option at McDonalds. She was like, "Some women have problems with it, but you seem to like it just fine." I had it down in 20 seconds. I had to wait an hour before they drew my labs. So here's to hoping for no gestational diabetes. I got home with Taco Bell in hand and suffered a severe sugar crash, though...so I'm hoping that's normal.

Reflections on...

listening to Charlie Brown Christmas prior to Thanksgiving. Usually, I am a person who demands the respect of the forgotten Turkey holiday. I will not decorate or listen to Christmas music until after we celebrate giving thanks by ingesting large amounts of food and watching Harry Potter (Rick family tradition). However, I can't help myself; the baby wants Christmas music. As I type this, I'm listening to the musical stylings of the Vince Guaraldi Trio. Sorry turkey day--it's your fault for being so late this year.

The end.

Migratory pattern of birds in Hillsdale

For the last couple weeks, the scene outside my school every morning has looked like a staging ground for Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds, Part II. I need to remember to bring my camera on Monday to capture the pure spectacle of all the birds. I'm not very familiar with the migratory pattern of birds; okay not familiar at all, but oi vey! Yesterday, I stayed in my car to wait for the bulk of them to fly over for fear of being the perfect target.

I know many of you (all three of my loyal readers) are saying, "whatever, Jeanette is one the most hyperbolic people I know...surely she's exaggerating." However, you three would be mistaken. The numbers of these birds has to be in the thousands. It is an orchestra of squawking. The sky is black with this army of birds. If they weren't smarter, I would fear for an uprising. The confusing thing is, they seem to just be making a circle every day; they are the most navigational challenged birds I have ever witnessed. In the morning they fly west and then seem to circle around, like they're considering flying south, but they keep remembering something--like they forgot to turn off the iron. It's an enigma to me.

A little more disconcerting--that I spend this much time thinking about these birds.

Sign of Things to Come?

I really do love being pregnant (somewhere some 9 month pregnant woman is laughing in my general direction). I have not had a difficult pregnancy in comparison with some women. I had my upchuck moments and food didn't really taste good until a few weeks ago, but it has not been horrible by any means. The best moment so far of pregnancy (other than seeing him on the ultrasounds) is when he moves. It is such a reassuring feeling. The weirdest sensation is when he rolls. It feels like that sensation you get when you're on your way down a big hill on a roller coaster, except slowed down.

His movements have become more frequent and more intense (which I hear is a good thing). Last night at 1:00 a.m., I think he was having his own private dance party in-utero. I could not believe how much he was moving. I couldn't sleep, it was so intense. Then, at 4:00 a.m., the dance party started back up. Then at 7:00 a.m. there was a Lord of the Dance encore. I could not believe how much I could feel him move. I'm extremely grateful for these impromptu dance sessions, but yowza!

I'm sure this is a sign of things to come for my nocturnal life.

Ode to an Italian Husband

So, my 100th post was a waste. I didn't even know it was my 100th; I knew I was getting close, but boo. Needless to say I spent it on whining (of course). So, since I don't count that post, I'm making up for it with an ode to my husband. Don't be fooled by the poetic title. This post has nothing poetic about it. No rhyme scheme, no figurative language, or vivid imagery. I wrote this in my head as Ben and I were driving back from his parents this weekend. It's just a random collection of things that I love about the man I married.

1. He loves Jesus.
2. He rolls his eyes when I give him a compliment (that's how I know he appreciates the compliment).
3. He gets moody when he's hungry (just like me).
4. He's smart with money (unlike me).
5. He looks good just about every second of the day (even when he wakes up in the morning).
6. He looks really good when he is scruffy.
7. His laugh makes me laugh.
8. I still get butterflies when he holds my hand.
9. He rolls his eyes when I start singing in the car.
10. He plays the air drums, guitar, trombone when we're listening to the radio in the car.
11. He's got the most gorgeous brown eyes.
12. He could eat McDonald's for every meal.
13. He indulges my somewhat obsessive love for pizza.
14. He's one of the most altruistic people I know.
15. He's protective (but not in a after-school movie kind of way).
16. He's musically inclined.
17. He's not afraid to try new things (a trait I'm trying to learn).
18. He likes to fix things around the house.
19. He makes me laugh.
20. He is wonderful with kids.
21. He encourages me.
22. He makes me accountable.
23. He loves Chinese food.
24. He's been great with me during my pregnancy (except when he rolled his eyes when I told him I had to stop to go to the bathroom again on the way up to his parents :)).
25. He gets excited when he buys new toys.
26. He gets excited when he gets new clothes.
27. He gets excited about the little things (like buying Electrasol tabs for our dishwasher or a new toothbrush).
28. Whenever he has a headache, he asks me to feel his head to see if he has a fever (which he never does).
29. He's level headed
30. He has one of the best work ethics.
31. He wants to be friends with Doug Heffernan and Barney Fife.
32. He loves Saturday Night Live.
33. He's a firefighter.
34. He's an avid Tiger's fan.
35. He looks good in jeans.
36. He couldn't stop talking about preparing for our son (when we found out we were having a son).
37. He loves hanging out with his dad.
38. He's the best son, grandson, brother.
39. He loves looking for new cars.
40. He's a great driver.
41. He held my hair when I threw up during my pregnancy.
42. He tells me I look pretty right now (even though I don't feel pretty).
43. He has movie star eyelashes
44. He's very smart (even though he doesn't think so).
45. He thinks outside the box.
46. He becomes giddy when he hears sirens.
47. He bought a stuffed dog (like one he had when he was little) when we found out we were pregnant.
48. He owns 8 million gagillion hats.
49. He has really straight teeth.
50. I never question that he loves me.

Wanted: Motivation

Young, pregnant teacher searching for dedicated creative, motivated energy.
Must be able to endure hours of grading.
Must love early mornings and long drives.
Should be able to deal with multiple mood swings from various teenagers on an hourly basis.
Must be able to handle multiple projects at the same time without loss of memory.
Additionally, should be able to maintain a clean household, classroom, and car.
And finally, must be able to dish out a sarcastic comment at a moment's notice.

Interested applicants, please send applications immediately, as pregnant woman is quickly losing her mind.

Miscellaneous

Just some random randomness (I'm an English teacher; I have license to make up words and sell them as truth...kind of like a politician).

-Went to the dentist, no cavities. But, while I had the nicest dental hygienist, the question remains--Why do they ask you questions when they have that torture device in your mouth (you know the one used to scrape off accumulated pizza and jujyfruits)? I'm sure they get bored. I would just listen to my Ipod, but I guess that takes away from customer service.

-We were at the SAU Homecoming game the other night. I was standing for the National Anthem when little Karate Kid here starts marching to the beat in-utero. What a patriotic little man.

-Had a dream the other night that I was feeding baby (after his exit from womb) and he looked at me and asked, "Can I have a hot dog?" I just remember thinking in the dream, my kid is a genius and sounds a little like Marlon Brando in The Godfather.

That's all.

Introducing the Future Cy Young Winner

Many of you who read this blog (please stop the fan mail...it's becoming overwhelming) may already know this, but Ben and I are expecting a little testosterone-charged bundle of joy at the end of February. This past Monday, we got to see our little guy for the second time. This time he didn't look so much like a grain of rice:


Baby Boy Parker

This next picture is one of my favorites. Our ultrasonographer (who was amazing)commented that it looked like he was flexing for us in this picture (hence the title of this post):

Incredible Hulk?

We are beyond excited and elated and overjoyed and thankful. Everything so far looks great. He's a mover and a shaker. I'm sure this means he'll have his mother's mad dancing skillz (that's right...skillz).

Thank you to everyone who has kept the three of us in your prayers. The Lord has truly blessed us with this little guy. We can't wait to meet him.

My Name is Jeanette, and I'm Good at Watching TV on DVD

I love that I have friends who use their time constructively (usually to the advancement of the human race). I have friends who make apple pies for their students. I have friends who work very hard at being some of the most amazing parents. These people inspire me for many reasons, one being that they possess creative faculties.

I, on the other hand, am currently in the process of searching for a creative muse. I don't cook because I hate cleaning up the mess (oh, and I'm not very good at it). I don't sew because I've never tried. I don't paint because that would be wrong. I don't garden because I don't know what I'm doing. I don't make curtains (or clothes or makes clothes out of curtains a la Maria VonTrapp). I like photography but feel stupid doing it, because we all know I'm not artsy. When people ask what I do, I usually give them a blank expression and frantically search my cranial archives for any thing creative I might have done in the past. I usually end up saying that I like to read. Nerds of America unite. I used to tell people that I like to run and rollerblade (prior to my "condition"), but that doesn't really involve much talent.

I began thinking about what I'm good at; what do I like to do. And it dawned on me that I don't do these creative things b/c I'm addicted to T.V.--namely, TV on DVD. I don't know what modern Einstein thought of this, but it is my contention that he/she needs to be knighted. I mean a whole season right there for my viewing pleasure. No commercials, no cliff-hangers, just hours of TV viewing enjoyment. It's amazing! I recently purchased Felicity, Freshman year on DVD. I used to love watching this show in high school and college. The other day, I saw it super on sale on Amazon, so I decided to indulge my love for TV and purchase it, knowing that my weekend would be consumed by watching the entire season, breaking only to go to the bathroom and order a pizza.

When I'm not watching Felicty, it's Gilmore Girls or Friends or the Office. My husband jokes (laments) that whenever he turns on the TV it's always set to Video1 (the setting for watching DVDs). Honestly, I think I might have a problem. I should be making cakes and pies and other various baked goods. I should learn to play the guitar or sew. I should be outside doing something with a shovel or hammer (preferably something constructive). But I don't do these things. I plop my lazy butt down in front of our beautiful TV and contribute nothing to society.

So, I could write that I'm turning over a new leaf. I'm heading to JoAnn's tomorrow to pick up my "Knitting for Dummies" starter kit. I'm going to invoke my inner-Rachel Ray and start baking up a storm. But, let's be honest...I'm currently busy growing a child and grading an endless mound of papers. I think that my relationship with the DVD industry is safe (for now).

Why Do I Teach?

During my education classes I was required to write an explanation detailing my desire to teach. These are reasons I included:

*I had such an amazing high school English teacher. She had a tremendous impact on my life, and I would love to be that person for future generations of youth.

*I believe it's a wonderful ministry opportunity, and I can't imagine being a teacher without my faith.

*I love literature. I am passionate about literature. I want to make others passionate about literature.

*I have a heart for teens. I think adolescence is one of the most difficult stages a person will go through in life, and I think it's important that teens have good role models to help them through such a tempestuous time.


After this last week, though, I'm having a hard time remembering why I want to teach. The aforementioned reasons seem trite and naive. This past week has been emotionally and physically draining. Our school body is hurting right now. Students are angry and hurt. I drive home and just pray for healing, for understanding, for patience. I wish I knew how to help, how to reach out to these students, but I feel paralyzed with helplessness.

Yesterday was a particularly hard day, and I found myself feeling nothing but anger. I drove home consumed by a dark cloud. I hate feeling helpless, I hate feeling like I can't address a situation, I hate uncertainty. And I know that through all this the Lord is teaching me I can't control every situation; I can't talk my way through every misunderstanding. Life is sometimes an opaque mess and the only clear, certain thing is my faith--knowing I can lean on Him.

I apologize for the cryptic nature of this post, but I can't really get into it on the internet (despite my "huge" fan base...Rachel, Rachel's mom, and my mom). I guess I write to ask for prayer--prayer for our students right now, prayer for our administration and teaching staff, and prayer to have the wisdom to think before I speak (a rather difficult thing for me).

Out of the Mouths of Babes: Part III

It's that time of year again. The leaves are changing, kids are back in school, Christmas stuff is up at major department stores, and my self-esteem is getting a good swift kick in the...well, you know.

These are comments heard over these last two weeks of school...

"Mrs. Parker, you're Chinese right?"

to which another student replied, "That's an insult to the Chinese." (He later explained he wasn't trying to be mean, it's just you can't go around assuming everyone is Chinese. Little pearls of wisdom.)

"Aren't you afraid your baby is going to be ugly?"

"Why do we always read books and write in this class?" (I know it IS shocking to participate in those activities in an English class.)

"Mrs. Parker, can I decorate your room next year?"

"Mrs. Parker, do you still own that ugly car?"

"I think Mrs. Parker is an introvert b/c she doesn't really like hanging out with people."

and my favorite, albeit not funny, phrase that I will never tire of hearing out of a high schooler's mouth:

"Do I have to do this assignment?"

Oh you?!! Nope, I'm sorry I wasn't thinking about you when I assigned this, just the rest of your classmates. My apologies, your Highness.

Summer Lovin'

So here are some pictures from our summer. I know you are all chomping at the bit to view them, and I didn't want to make you wait any longer.

Our camping trip at Fort Custer:





Trying to get the fire started:


Success:


We ate one of our dinners in the car during all the rain...so much rain.


Trip to Massachusetts:




This one's for Rachel..."The shot heard round the world":


Cute pic of the 'rents...


Because I'm an English nerd...


Spooky:


Where every body knows your name--sadly we didn't see Norm:


Ben and Ted--Williams, that is:


Boston Common:


Adam and Ben:

5 YEARS...HOORAY FOR US!

5 years of wedded bliss! We would be an old married couple by Hollywood standards.

Happy Anniversary, Benj. I love you!

Dream a Little Dream

In my Psychology class we do a unit on dreams and consciousness. During the unit I have my students keep a dream diary for two weeks (b/c we all dream) and then they have to take three of their dreams and analyze them. It's really interesting to hear what's going on in a person's subconscious. I've always been fascinated by dreams. I think it's because I have such weird, vivid dreams and I'm slightly scared that I'm abnormal. The other night I had this dream that I was driving to Lansing to check out where Ben and I could park for our upcoming excursion to Wicked (that's right...I'm seeing Wicked in 1 day!!!). So I'm driving and I think I'm in Lansing when all of the sudden I'm in Puerto Rico driving to the mall. Then this guy pulls into my lane and broad-sides me and starts screaming at me in Spanish. And since I'm not real great with the Spanish language, I'm sure he was just speaking gibberesh. So then I'm like, "I need to get back to Lansing...I'll just take the freeway to get home." I guess the ocean didn't pose as big a problem. So I'm trying to find the freeway but all the signs are in Spanish. Then I see a sign that says, "I-94 oeste". So, I think my problems are solved until broad-sided guy is on my tale screaming at me in Spanish. Then I woke up.

So this dream got me thinking about my weird dreams and my recurring dreams. So here are three dreams that I seem to have at least once a week.

Dream #1: I'm the lead in a musical and it's opening night and I don't know any of my lines or songs. I don't have my costumes and the curtain is about to open. Then the dream takes a variation on me either going on stage and making up songs or me going on stage and realizing no one is in the audience.

Dream #2: I'm signed up for this college class, but I keep forgetting that I'm signed up for it, so I never go. Then the end of the semester comes along and I have to take a final in this class that I've never been to and which I need to graduate. I go to the class and get the final and know nothing on the test! I freak out and usually start crying or yelling.

Dream #3 (this one is more recent): It's the first day of school and I'm the teacher. I get to class and have nothing prepared. I don't have a syllabus for any class, I don't have lesson plans, seating charts, nothing! It's frightening.

Weird aspects of dreams that are recurring:

1. I lose all my teeth (just had that one the other night. Actually, I never really had real teeth--I had dentures my whole life and just realized it. So I took them out and couldn't get them back in.)

2. I'm trying to run away from something, but my legs move super slow.

3. I'm running and I'm super-awesome and have the longest legs.

4. I'm talking to people or driving and can't open my eyes. I had a dream where I was walking up to the front of our church to sing and my eyes suddenly closed, and I fell (even weirder...Damon Seacott had to help me to the stage).

5. I'm friends with Angelina Jolie.

I invite all of you to take a look into your dream world and see what your subconscious says about you.

Can't Sleep...CAN'T SLEEP!!!

I planned this post last night as I lay wake from 3:30 to quarter to 5....IN THE MORNING!! Lately, I go to bed all tuckered out ready for sweet, sweet REM and then BAM 3:30 rolls around and my brain seems to be gearing up to do someone's taxes. I lay there and look at my precious husband who is having no trouble sleeping AT ALL and it takes everything in me not to wake him up for a rousing game of Scrabble. I'm sure he'd appreciate that.

I don't know why...for GOD'S SAKE WHY??!! Then during the day I'm exhausted. Yesterday, this is how my day went:

Rolled out of bed around 9:45, ate breakfast, took a shower, ate some pizza rolls, took a nap...4 hours after I woke up at 9:45.

I'm a little peeved at my body right now, b/c ummm...DEAR BODY, in 3 weeks you have to wake up at 5:30 A.M.! I'm obviously tired, b/c I had the nap yesterday, was exhausted when I went to bed, wake up exhausted. Maybe I have insomnia. Maybe I'm supposed to be taking on the role of a super-hero during these wee morning hours--saving Spring Arbor from its rampant crime waves.

Okay, going to go take a nap now.

Eating Like I Did in College

I don't know what summer does to me, but without fail I revert back to my bad eating habits of my college days. During the year, I do pretty well with at least feigning to eat healthy. Then summer hits, and boom...its coronary city. Let me tell you what I've had for lunch the last couple days...

Spaghettios using Pringles as a spoon...mmmmm (I'm hungry an hour later).

For dinner tonight...

A hamburger with a chocolate chip cookie to follow and a doughnut from Krispy Kreme.

Last night (this will make Sara proud)...

I ate a whole thing of Sour Patch Kids...by myself...in a half hour.

The summer sun has got me craving the sweets.

I will say I have not gone back to soda and I eat Grape Nuts every morning and drink a glass of Florida's best orange juice.

I also had a bowl of cantaloupe with my bowl of chili-mac last night.

Competitive eating has never looked sweeter to me.

This One Time at Band Camp...I Lost my Mind

Let me preface this post by saying we are truly blessed by our living situation. Ben's job allows us to live in an apartment rent-free. Nice situation, right? Yes, it is. We don't pay rent or utilities or internet or anything. I mean it doesn't get much better. I thank the Lord for this opportunity at this point in our lives. That being said...

Our apartment is in a dorm building where 300 other students live from September to May. We coexist peacefully with these blessed students. We hear occasional rounds of wrestling up stairs, and there are only a handful of times when I look at Ben and say, "Do you think someone just died upstairs?" To which he replies, "Eh."
Living with these 300 college students for most of the year is fine.

But for one weekend every summer, my inner-Mr. Hyde comes out. For one weekend every summer, a large band camp lives in our building for several days, and I weigh whether or not it would be acceptable to storm upstairs in my pajamas, hair askew, and scream obscenities at innocent high school students for interrupting my precious, precious REM cycle. I know when they have arrived because at 9:00 a.m. (when I'm still sleeping...b/c I get to b/c I wake up at 5:00 a.m. during the school year so get off my back) someone starts playing the drums in the bedroom above our bedroom. Loud, loud drums. That weekend, my friends, has arrived. They are here.

Riddle me this Internet (and I know that I teach high schoolers for a living): why do high schoolers have to scream their conversations with one another across a courtyard? Why? WHY? Why does it take an HOUR to walk from our building to the track across the street (where they practice)? Why does the smallest kid always play the tuba? The smallest kid with a brace on his leg? What?

I'm all for the arts in education, but ummm...not in my place of residence.

Oh Band Camp, you are the bane of my existence.

I'm Not Dead Yet (part deux)

Hey friends...so I've been an uber let down to myself as far as keeping up on my blog. I've had no motivation whatsoever this last month and a half. I think I'm suffering from burnout. I have been keeping track of witty, non-sensical things that pop into my head and I say "hmmm...I should write that on my blog." For example:

1. What the frick is up with this "summer weather"? Huh, Al Gore? Huh? I mean don't get me wrong. Anything is better than 12 inches of snow, but I want hot days...I didn't live in the desert for 10 years for nothing. My body needs hot weather, lest it die.

2. Why must celebrities pick out the most obscure names? It's not even fascinating anymore. You are not going against the norm if you name your baby something weird and you're a celebrity. If I were a celebrity, I would name my child Pete or Bob.

3. Why did God create us to have gas? And if we all have it, why is it so taboo to excrete it in front of others? I'm just saying, I think we should take pride in the stinkiness of our gas.

4. What is a parkway?

5. How come women with dark hair are cursed with dark leg hair that grows at a phenomenal rate? I mean I shave at 9:00 a.m. and by 4:00 p.m. I could honestly compete with Robin Williams for hairiest person alive.

Okay, that's all with the sage ponderings of yours truly.

I was in Boston last week, so I'll post pictures soon. Get ready for a treat. And by treat I mean 10 pictures of where the Revolutionary War started.

A Milestone in Any Young Woman's Life

This year has been a year of firsts; a year of ups and downs; a year of late nights and early mornings. Before you roll your eyes at another supposed "hooray for me" post, let me tell you, that is not what this is. Today marked a very important day in my life. Last year I let two very influential women into my life. These women have been my "go to", if you will. They've let me create lesson plans in front of them. They've allowed me to eat bowl after bowl of cream of wheat in front of them. They've weathered my mocking and my pleading. They've endured long, unrelenting hours of having to "be on" just for me. And today, I had to bid them adieu. It was a sad day. I sat in my living room incredulously trying to fight back tears. I know I can see them again, but it won't be the same.

Today, I said my farewells to...the Gilmore Girls. That's right, up to today I held out hope for a Luke and Lorelai wedding. I held my breath for a tear inducing Jess/Rory reunion (that's right--Jess!). I held my breath for a tidy series finale tie up; but that is not the Gilmore way. Nothing is tidy and contrived in Stars Hollow. We roll with the punches, my friends, and we keep going. Oh the last season definitely was somewhat of a letdown. I mean without Amy Sherman-Palladino, some of the magic is gone. I mean Christopher and Lorelai? Married?! I had to deal with an overactive gag reflex for about 5 episodes (5 episodes too many). But, it was not a season 10 debacle a la Friends (sorry, Sara--you know how I feel, though).

It was a bittersweet parting. I know, I know--I'll always have re-reruns on ABC Family and DVDs, but now the element of surprise is gone; I know how it all ends. Oh, I'm sure it's like a good book--one that you can read and read and pick up new things every time. I'm sure I'll have more late evenings and early morning cream of wheat meetings. It was a sad moment, though, taking that last disc out of the DVD player, knowing that I couldn't rush to put the next one in (dangling preposition).

Now then, since I have just spent a pathetic week and a half watching theses DVDs and have accomplished nothing of merit, I feel I should begin something that doesn't require my monopolizing the television. I don't think seeing how long I can hold out on a shower before HAZMAT is alerted is a laudable achievement. So, I will be starting my summer reading list (not that I haven't been reading; I gave myself little breaks in between seasons...I'm not a complete loser).

So here it is--the books I would like to be able to read this summer (3 of which I am currently reading):

-Moby Dick by Herman Melville (this one requires an accountability partner--shout out to my good friend, Rachel)

-Peace Like a River by Leif Enger (wonderful suggestion from a wonderful friend)

-I Love You Beth Cooper by Larry Doyle (wonderful suggestion from a hilarious friend)

-There's a Slight Chance I Might be Going to Hell by Laurie Notaro (my mother highly recommended it and is allowing me to borrow her copy).

-The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath (because one can never be too depressed)

-The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway (because I feel like I should give him another chance...misogynistic pessimist)

-One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez (I really did enjoy Love in the Time of Cholera...let's see what G.G. Marqz (oh, Rachel) can do with this one).

and if there's time (because I do have to do some reading for the upcoming school year),

-The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseni.

Okay, Summer reading begins...NOW!

Hot Time, Summer in the City (kind of)

Kind of a lame post to make up for the absence of regularly witty and brilliant posts (please know that I am extremely sarcastic and not at all narcissistic--somewhere someone who knows me very well laughs). I have been enjoying the warm goodness that comes from our own little ball of hydrogen. I was wondering if it was broken (ahem, Al Gore). As I've basked in the wonderfully harmful UV rays this week I began making a list of all the reasons why Summer kicks Winter's derrière (I would give you props Spring, but you were somewhat MIA this year). Below is a list of reasons why I love Summer.

1. I can walk outside without a coat and three layers of shirts and gloves and a hat and a scarf and winter boots and a scowl.

2. Warm breezes

3. Driving with the windows down (when I don't have somewhere to be where my hair needs to look not wind blown)

4. The smell of cut grass

5. The glorious scents that precede a storm

6. Running at 9:00 p.m. (and not getting hit by a car b/c it's still light outside)

7. 6:30 sunrises (not that I see them)

8. 9:30 sunsets

9. Rollerblading

10. Swimming

11. Fire works

12. The smell of barbecues

13. The smell of bonfires

14. The smell of sunscreen (you can tell my olfactory senses get quite the workout during Summer)

15. The sound of crickets (outside...not in my apartment driving me to the brink of madness)

16. The sound of bullfrogs

17. Fireflies

18. My parents' backyard

19. Concord's main street

20. Sleeping in

21. S'mores

22. Hanging out on AJ and Megan's lake (it's theirs in my mind)

23. Walking to Frosty Boy with Ben

24. End of the school year

25. Our anniversary

I'm sure there's more, but I'm really hungry right now and can't really think straight. Here' to Summer.
(If I had been really smooth, I would have posted this on the 21...the first official day of Summer, but like I said, I'm hungry).

....aaaaannd DONE!

LAST DAY!


And because I'm a literature teacher, and it's my job to point out symbolism, here's this:






There was the most incredible rainbow after some of the storms today...how perfect (power lines and all).

T-5 Days

Internet, I cannot convey to you the utter joy I feel when I realize that I have made it through one of the most difficult, yet rewarding years of my life. I know that statement rings a tad hyperbolic, but it is true. I love my job and I love going to work each day, but this year, while wonderfully rewarding, has been the most stressful year of my life. I am glad to say that, by next Friday afternoon, I will have survived my first year of teaching.

I have survived the many mood swings projected upon me by my ever-changing adolescent students. I have survived teaching 15 novels, 7 plays, 4 research projects, 3 poetry units, 3 short stories units, 11 Psychology units, and countless writing assignments. I have survived 5 a.m. mornings and 12 a.m. bed times. I have survived hour long commutes. I have survived moments of despair and tears. I have survived moments of elation and joy. I have survived chaperoning dances and a senior trip.
I have survived and I did not do it by myself. I had the support of my family, my friends, my husband, my colleagues. I had the guidance of veteran teachers. I have had the support of my Heavenly Father who let me cry out to Him and plead with Him and yell at Him and question Him.

This year has been quite the paradoxical year. I feel I have been hardened and softened; I have grown more confident yet have never felt less self-assured. I have never felt so sad and, yet, so happy. I felt completely supported and completely alone. It has been a tremulous year of ups and downs...
and I would not go back and change a thing.


"Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good
we oft might win, by fearing to attempt".
-The Bard

Things Heard Whilst Teaching Today

"Physics is the highlight of my life." -Mrs. Wikler

"My Thumbelina has a five o'clock shadow." -student

"I really want a blog, cause I'm pretty funny." -Mrs. Wikler

"They want peace and communism everywhere." -Student

"Shrek was mean to me today." -Student

"I'm going to wear my hear like this again, and put flowers in it, and frolick around." -Student

"Meah and Leah are spelled the same but with different letters." -Student

"I have to pee so bad, my insides hurt." -Me

"Why is Timmy on the ground...with himself?" -Mrs. Wikler

Play That Funky Music (Part Deux)

A while back, I posted an entry about my current music addictions. I feel compelled to write another, more current, listing of music that dominates the airwaves in my car and home. Some of these songs are not current, but their mellifluous melodies have left a lasting impression on me. And away we go...

1.) Viva la Vida-by: Coldplay- I am a HUGE Coldplay fan. I never tire of their music and eagerly anticipate any forthcoming albums. This title track off their new c.d. is AMAZING. It has a beautiful string arrangement and a driving beat that dares you not to smile. New c.d.: June 17!!

2.) We're Going to be Friends-by: Whitestripes-Fun acoustic song. I am a fan of this group's somewhat eccentric style. Good song for the impending graduation season.

3.) Colorblind-by: Natalie Walker-This is a cover of a Counting Crows song. I loved it when Counting Crows sang it...I love it even more now. She preserves the same sweet melody and adds her own haunting harmonies. It's a wonderful cover.

4.) Hometown Glory-by:ADELE-This was a free download on Itunes a few months back. It has a beautiful, driving piano accompaniment. Her voice has a raspy, Amy Winehouse tone to it.

5.) Little Black Sandals-by: Sia-This song is off her latest c.d. I love the whole album and this song in particular.

6.) Mother-by: Tori Amos-I have loved Tori Amos since my freshman year of high school when I was introduced to her "Under the Pink" album. She is an amazingly opaque song-writer...and she plays the piano like no one's business. This song is from her Little Earthquakes album. It is like a comfort food to me. The piano melody is soothing.

7.) Ultraviolet Rays-by: U2-Another favorite band. My favorite U2 song is With or Without You, but Ultraviolet Rays (from Achtung Baby) is just a great song...and the Edge is brilliant in it.

8.) Never Let Go-by: David Crowder Band-This song has brought me to tears. It's a humbling reminder of His love.

9.) How Far We've Come-by: Matchbox 20-Current favorite for dance party. I dare you not to bust into a wicked-rad 80's dance when you hear this song.

10.) Don't Stop the Music-by: Rihanna- Now, Internet, don't you judge me. It is a fun song and perfect for dance party. I also like running to it.

11.) Piazza, New York Catcher-by: Belle and Sebastian-I heart Belle and Sebastian, and this song is played in Juno. The combination is wonderful.

12.) Concerning the UFO sighting Near Highland, Illinois-by: Sufjan Stevens-Sufjan tops my list of all time favorite musicians. This album (Come on, Feel the Illinois) is one of my favorites. His quirky, eclectic song writing is unique and wonderful. I love the piano melody in this song.

13.) Human Behaviour-by: Bjork-I just like this song. She's weird and that's what makes her music fun.

THE END

Chicago, Chicago--That Happenin' Town

Friday I left for Chicago with a group of seniors from my school. I had the privilege to chaperone our school's senior trip to Chicago. First of all, the depth of my love for Chicago runneth deep. I love that city! Secondly, I love free things, i.e. an all-paid trip to Chicago. The combination of free and Chicago equals wicked-awesome. We had so much fun. We stayed in a hotel on State St, did all the essential touristy things (Sears Tower, Ed Debevics, Gino's Pizza, museums, Navy Pier, shopping), and had fabulous weather. I got home at about 4:00 a.m. this morning and am still pretty wiped, so please pardon any spelling, grammatical, punctuation errors. Here are some pics for your viewing pleasure.


Me & Charlie...hanging out in Sears Tower


Picture that will be submitted to guarantee my spot in the Geek Hall of Fame


Aww...aren't they precious?


Posing in front of Millennium Fountain


The bid I placed on this house is pending...(my status as a millionaire)


Field Museum


Sue. I'm concerned about her eating habits.


An occupant of Shedd Aquarium


Navy Pier at dusk

Deepest Apologies

Dear Internet,

I'm sorry I've been such a negligent blogger. I have no excuse other than a busy life. There have been many things that have happened in my life that I've been eager to share with you--for example: I have given up soda...COLD TURKEY. I haven't had a sip of carbonated bliss since April 5th. Yes, I'm keeping track. It's been one of the saddest things I've had to do, and I expect the period of mourning to continue indefinitely. On the plus side, my gaseous emissions have hit an all time low. I'm sure somewhere Al Gore is smiling.

Additionally, I have become a fan of "Dancing With the Stars". Stop laughing...it's a very entertaining show. I know somewhere inside me, there's a fabulously dressed welder with a knack for dancing. I can bust out Thriller with the best of them (except for Michael Jackson...or anyone else in the Thriller video).

I guess the most exciting thing in my life right now is "The Countdown". It's not as magical as the quotes would have you think. It is simply a countdown, written in chalk on my blackboard at school. This countdown reads 14 days!! Do you know, Internet, what happens in 14 days (not counting weekends or Memorial Day)? My first year of teaching comes to an end. You should know that Handel's "Messiah" is playing in my head. I'm almost there...and my brain DID NOT leak out of my ear. I AM NOT in a coma due to cranial hemorrhage .

Summer is almost here...and Internet, just you wait...oh, the posts that I'll write...about me sitting around and watching Friends.

Love,
Jeanette

Superhero

Conversation at Wendy's tonight:

Ben (looking at our receipt): "Huh, they didn't add our coupon."

Me (looking at our receipt): "Oh yeah, they didn't."

Ben: "Should we say something?"

Me: "Yeah, that's a savings of $3.00."

Ben: "Yeah."

*Silence*

*Silence*

Me: "Do you want me to go do it?"

Ben: "Here's the debit card."

For a "Cool Mom"

Dear Marmee,

Allow me to publicly wish you a Happy Mother's Day! I was thinking of ways to make this entry snazzy and Internet worthy--a clever acrostic, a humorous limerick, an ode Keats or Dryden style. All of these avenues, however, seemed trite and superficial. So allow me to express, straight prose, how much of a wonderful mother you are. (You should know that in my head, this entry is being accompanied by a subtle, yet moving string arrangement).

Ahem...

Mom I appreciate your sense of humor. I love that you instilled in me a twisted, sarcastic sense of humor. It has served me well through out my life. I believe I won "Most Humorous" in High School thank you very much. Truth is, you also passed along your unapologetic gene for involving one's self in all things embarrassing. So, this magical sense of humor you passed along has come in handy in helping me deal with the many mortifying moments in my life (i.e. chasing legal documents down Jackson Street in a skirt). I love that you think I'm one of the funniest people you know. It serves as a much needed ego boost every now and then. I also love that you think farts are funny! Love it!

I appreciate your intelligence. You are one of the smartest people I know...okay, not when it comes to technology, but that's okay. I would come to you with any injury, scary looking pimple, or upset stomach, and I would recommend you to friends (I have!). The love you put into your profession is amazing to me, and I strive to do the same in my job.

I appreciate your sense of style. You definitely have moxy! I don't know if I would have purchased that belt at Chico's, but you pulled it off! You're classic and sophisticated and I hope I dress half as well as you when I'm a mom. Please don't ever let me buy "mom" jeans; please just punch me in the face first.

I appreciate your dedication to your family. Whatever happens, I know you'll have my back (Bruce Lee style). I would not want to be the person who goes toe to toe with you over a member of our family, 'cause that sucka is going down. Thank you for your devotion, whether it be through cupcakes for my class (with little conversation hearts), sticking it to the Honda people, the birthday song, burning holes in my nail so I don't lose it, or sticking it to Mrs. Garrity.

There's so much more I could write, but hopefully you get the idea of how blessed I feel to have you as a mother...and not a mother of the "no more wire hangers" variety.

You truly are a Cool Mom!



Love,
Nets

Mawage & Twu Wuv

13 years ago I met a girl who would become one of my dearest friends. We have weathered many things together. She has seen me at my worst and my best and vice-a-versa. She has remained a constant in my life, and I am grateful for the many memories we have shared.


Nearly a year ago, she called and honored me by asking me to be part of her wedding. Yesterday, I was able to share in her special day and it was beautiful. She has truly met a wonderful man who loves her more than anything else in this world. I couldn't be happier for them!
Congratulations Jenny and Justin!! I love you!

My face in thine eye, thine in mine appears,
And true plain hearts do in the faces rest;
Where can we find two better hemispheres
Without sharp north, without declining west ?
Whatever dies, was not mixed equally;
If our two loves be one, or thou and I
Love so alike that none can slacken, none can die
-John Donne



Post Script:

Justin is a grad of MSU, and so a special guest was invited on his behalf. This next picture is sure to offend family and friends who bleed blue and maize, but I couldn't pass this up.



(Also, the post title is a shout out to Princess Bride.)

For those of you not obsessed with celebrity gossip...not that I am

I know I know...sorry excuse for a post. I apologize to my loyal reader.

But...just wanted to let you know that it's official.

Beyoncé & Jay-Z File Signed Marriage License

Big Pimpin indeed.

You Say it's Your Birthday

Today (28 years ago) the hottest man alive (title to be confirmed shortly, I'm sure, by People magazine) graced this planet with his presence. 23 years later he graced my life with his undying love, his selflessness, and his admiration of farting noises. I cannot begin to fathom my life without him, and I wish him a very, very happy birthday!



Happy Birthday, Benj! I love you!