Saturday, September 29, 2007


Yesterday, as I was moving some things around at the end of my third hour class, I accidentally bumped into a desk. In response to the misstep, I said "woops, yowza." Which prompted one of my students to exclaim: "I love Scooby Doo."
Me: ....?
Student: That's from Scooby Doo, right? "yowza".
Me:....Ummm...I don't think so.
Other student: No, jinkies is from Scooby Doo...hey, Mrs. Parker, you look like Velma from Scooby Doo.
To which my ego replied, "I'm out of here."
Me: What? I do not.
Group of students (now all very interested in comparing me to a nerdy cartoon character who no doubt had some self-esteem issues): Yeah, you know...she's smart, you're smart, she has brown hair, you have brown hair, you wear glasses sometimes, she wears glasses.
Me: Um....
Student: Say "jinkies"
Me: No
Student: Please, say "jinkies"
Me: Read your story
Students: You look like Velma...that's what we'll call you now: Mrs. Velma
Me: Don't
Student: Say "jinkies"
Me: Do your work.
Student: Okay, but you look like Velma


Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Pardon the cryptic, extended metaphor

I am a person that needs a plan. I need someone to tell me what to do, when to do it, and, to an extent, how to do it. According to the Myers-Briggs type indicator, I am definitely a J!!! I don't like surprises and I don't like it when the planned becomes unplanned. So when a wrench is thrown into a perfectly good situation, it tends to make my mind want to find its happy place. The last few weeks have been stressful to say the least.

I often question why God brings us to forks in the road at the most inopportune times. Both paths seem to offer good travel, so why the does the decision need to be made? Why can't I just keep traveling down the path that I've been on? I wonder if God brings us to these points to help us realize that he has given us a perfectly good path. Maybe he wants us to lean on Him more; these decisions bring us closer to Him. Regardless, these times turn my stomach into an unfriendly companion.

I wish someone would tell me which path to take, but I know that isn't how life works. My J personality is going to have to suck it up and deal with it.

P.S. On a totally random note, I hate Wendy's new ad campaign. You know the one with men singing the praises of Wendy's whilst wearing Wendy wigs? Those wigs are just plain creepy. Not funny. CREEPY.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Oh the places we'll go

Interesting things seen on the way to Hillsdale (in no particular order):

1. A large wooden yellowjacket

2. A boy on stilts

3. A raccoon, who no doubt holds the Guiness record for being larger than a bear, lying dead on the road.

4. tractos, tractors, and more tractors

5. A man who cannot ride his bike without a cigarette dangling precariously from his mouth (every day)

6. A car that is missing a door

7. A monster truck with a flat tire

8. The largest crow on roids, playing chicken (no pun intended) with me as I approach it 60 mph. (I won).

9. Corn...lots and lots of corn (okay not interesting, but whatever).

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

We want you back.

Whenever your self-esteem needs a boost all you must simply do is cancel a magazine subscription and wait for the ego-boosting emails. I decided not to renew my InStyle magazine subscription for several reasons: a. we needed to cut out any unnecessary spending b. i found myself coveting thy neighbor (and by neighbor I mean celebrities who will never be my neighbor, unless Brangelina decides to be goodwill ambassadors to Free Methodist College students.) c. those magazines are heavy--they are hard to lug back and forth to the bathroom. Ever since I cancelled said subscription, I will get these emails with the subject line: We want you back. I am perfectly aware that it is an email that thousands receive in their inboxes as well, but for a split second, I revel in the faux sincerity demonstrated by the good people at InStyle Magazine.

Ego-boosting aside, though, they're starting to appear desperate. I mean I cancelled this subscription a year ago, and am still receiving regular requests. I feel like it's the ex-boyfriend who can't take the hint. I don't return their correspondence, I've thrown away (I mean ummm....recycled) every one of the magazines they ever sent me. Come on's not going to happen. Facts are facts. It's over.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Deep thoughts

Remember Back to the Future 2? Remember how Marty and Doc travelled to the future? Remember the year? 2015!
Which means we have 8 years to come up with flying cars, hoverboards, clothes that shrink down to your size when put on, and leashes that walk dogs.

Come on people!

Friday, September 14, 2007

A plea...

Dear Weather,

Make up your mind.


Thursday, September 13, 2007

Fact: Fall television season is fast approaching

I love summer for a plethora of reasons which I will not go into right now. The only negative tidings summer brings with it, however, is bad television. Around May good television goes into hibernation mode or "hiatus" if you will, and I, the loyal television viewer, am left feeling abandoned, let down, lost without my LOST. Sure, networks try to debut a new gameshow or funny t.v. show, but these attempts are futile and in vain.
With the dawning of a new school year, though, television makes its comeback. It's comparable to the feeling one has on Christmas morning: feelings of anticipation, surprise, wonderment. Will Pam and Jim finally end up together? Will Michael have ditched Jan? Are Meredith and Dr. McDreamy going to make it? Are those Lost guys really found? Is there going to be yet another prison break? Questions that have been festering all summer will be revealed. Just like Christmas you get the "Sweet an Ipod" storylines and you will get the "oh wow, a balloon animal kit" storylines. Some are great some are disapointing, but you know they have all season to make it up to you. There's also the "wow, I didn't even ask for this $100 giftcard to J.Crew" shows. (I hope the Christmas analogy is apparent, otherwise this is going to be a very weird post) The new, unexpected hit shows are just as enticing as the old staples. One can't help but look forward to "Chuck" or....ummm that show with Kelsey Grammar.
Thank you Fall television for making our t.v. viewing more delightful. Thank you.

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Tales of the sleep deprived

It has been a while since I've posted and I feel as if I've neglected a friend, an inanimate, one-sided friend. So I have not known sleep-deprivation like I have known it these past two weeks. Since I was a lethargic couch potato over the summer, sleep was always an afternoon nap away. My life changed somewhat dramatically in the past three weeks, and being a dramatic person, you may think I use the term loosely, but I sincerely do not. I went from waking up at 10:00 a.m. to waking up at 7:00 a.m. to waking up at 5:15 a.m. It hurts to even write 5:15 a.m. The reason for the early mornings is one for which I am entirely grateful; however, getting up early is not one of my strengths, unless you consider tearing off someone's arm because they looked at you the wrong way before you've had a shower a strength...many would not.
I've often heard that driving whilst sleep deprived is similar to driving drunk. Having never driven drunk, I could not say whether or not this was true. I have, however, feared for the safety of other drivers while I have been driving this past week. At one point, on my way to work, I turned down a street for no particular reason. It was not on my way to work, I have never driven down this street, and it made no sense whatsoever for me to drive down this street. All of these thoughts did not occur to me, though, until I was about three miles down the street in question. I also find myself asking the always alarming question: how did I get here? when I arrive to work. As I walk into work, I pray that I did not hit an animal or person and that I stopped for stop signs. I'm hoping my body will get used to waking up early again and that my circadian rythms can reset themselves. Until that time, you may want to avoid driving down US-12.

NOTE: I do have an impeccable driving record...except for the time I got a ticket for driving without my headlights on.