"Mrs. Parker, Nathan wants to know if you're pregnant."
Student: "He says you look pregnant."
Me (seriously reconsidering pizza as a diet): "What?!"
Student: "Yeah, he says you've been wearing shirts lately that make your stomach look like it's getting bigger."
Me (seriously reconsidering wearing tube tops to work): "Ummmm....I'm not."
Student: "Oh, okay."
Me: silently weeping over my Dr. Pepper and Dortios
Sit-up regime begins tomorrow...after I finish my 11oz bag of Raisinets.