Monday, August 13, 2007

Fatty Food Lover

I could write hundreds of sonnets declaring my love for fatty, non-nutritious food. I'm not sure when this trans-fat love affair began, but I can say with all honesty I do not want it to end. Sure, I'm receiving no nutrients whatsoever, and sure, my heart has to work a little harder with each cholesterol saturated meal I consume, but how can I stop? Lately, I've tried to cut soda out of my diet, but the only way I can take my horse pill of a multi-vitamin is with a swig of tasty carbonation (which I'm sure totally defeats the purpose of taking a multi-vitamin). I've also made an attempt to eat more fruit. This attempt includes purchasing fruit and then letting it grow mold in my refrigerator until it is no longer recognizable to the human eye. I started eating Grape Nuts for breakfast, which made me feel like I was making progress, until Ben pointed out that pouring spoonfuls of sugar over the Grape Nuts takes away a lot of its nutritional value.
Sure a random piece of fruit or a bottle of water can appease the guilt I feel over consuming an entire bag of marshmallows in the span of two days, but pretty soon that grape is just not going to be enough. I want to eat healthy, I really do...but I don't even know where to start. I feel like I've eaten healthy when I get the 4 piece chicken McNugget meal, rather than the hamburger at McDonald's. I'm completely ignorant in this arena of dining. If anybody (okay...if my mom) has advice please...please help me. I would like to live to see 40 and I'm pretty sure eating two hostess cupcakes in one sitting ain't gettin it done. MMmmmmm...hostess cupcake.


rachel said...

i love you! this post made me laugh out loud, and i'm in the libary - definitely a no-no.

Sara Luke said...

This post pretty much sums up the foundation of our friendship.

Eli Edmundson said...

Very funny post. You might just want to leave the fruit out where you'll see it and eat it. Also if you can get good farmers market fruit it has a lot more flavor than supermarket stuff. As for cooking healthier, just try adding spinach or bokchoy to anything, to Ramen or what have you, just to get some greens... It's a big topic so I'll stop there. I have a food blog you can check out for some ideas if interested.