I haven't written in a while mainly due to the lack of sleep. My cognitive skills are not as sharp as they were when I was able to sleep 5 hours straight. So life is somewhat, um...different to put it mildly. I cannot believe how much a 7 pound person can change life so dramatically. I am loving every minute of his existence. Here's what's consumed me for the last 3 1/2 weeks:
Sleep (or lack of): Eli wakes up every 2 or 3 hours at night. I thought I knew what tired was when I started teaching, but I stand corrected. I fell asleep while feeding him last night and was startled awake by my head falling. So cliche, I know. It's not only him waking up that keeps me from my precious REM, but my constant need to check his breathing. Can we say neurotic mother?
La Leche League Loser: Breastfeeding has proven to be one of the most challenging, emotional tasks I have ever taken on. Eli is not a fan. He'll eat sometimes, but a lot of the time, he just screams as if the sight of his dinner conjures up images of a clown or equally disturbing images. I guess he's going to be a butt guy. We're still trying; I really don't want to give up. Needless to say, I'm pumping a lot, b/c I want him to at least get the good stuff.
Ben as a dad: Seeing Ben with Eli has made me fall in love with him all over again (sorry for all the cliches in this post--but deal with it). He is an amazing dad! Thos two are going to be great pals.
Cabin fever: So, I'm not taking him to "meet" people until he's 6 weeks old (we've got another 2 weeks to go)...so we don't leave the apartment a lot. I left him for the first time (Ben was the babysitter) this past Sunday to do stuff at school. I was gone for 3 hours--the longest 3 hours of my life.
Stage mom: So, I keep having these dreams that Eli is way advanced for his age. One night I had a dream that he got up and walked out of the room b/c he had to use the potty...and he was the age he is now. I also have dreams that he talks to me. Am I subconsciously pushing my son too hard?
I'll try to be better at posting as soon as I get my feet under me.