Saturday, December 29, 2007

Life of a Clutz (or is it Klutz)

So I'm not what you would call "graceful". I have a tendency to trip over nothing, bump into things, drop things, etc. Shockingly, though, I have yet to break a bone (except the tip of my thumb when I shut it in my mom's car door...five days before my wedding). I ran cross-country and track in high school and never twisted or spained an ankle. No, I sprained my ankle the other day...wait for it...stepping off our couch.

So, we have a pub mirror with a shelf on which I keep a candle. A couple weeks ago I lit said candle. A couple hours passed and I was settling down to grade some papers when I noticed that the candle was still going. It should also be mentioned that I was snacking on some chips before I made this discovery. So I decided (with chips in hand) to blow out the candle. I had to step up on our couch to blow it out. As I went to step down off the couch, things turned ugly. My ankle decided it had had enough running and high heels and checked out. I heard a frightening snap and was down for the count. Now brace yourself, but the chips...they went down too...all over the floor.

Okay so it should also be mentioned that (I can't believe I'm admitting this) everytime I experience a decent amount of pain, my natural tendency is to ummmm....pass out. My first experience with this was when I was at the movies with my friend Jessica in the sixth grade. As we were leaving the theater, someone bumped my elbow (funny bone) with a door...okay bumped is the wrong word...ummmm...threw open violently. The next thing I knew, I was waking up on the floor of the theater with a concerned friend staring at me. My sophomore year of high school my parents took us down to Destin, FL. I laid on the white sandy beach for 3 hours (without sunscreen). The redder I got the sicker I got. Once the blisters appeared, I passed out. The next time it happened was when I got my belly button pierced in college (my rebellious act of the college years). The piercing part actually didn't hurt much at all. While I was sitting waiting for my friend to get her's pierced I began to feel a little light headed. Next thing I knew some tatooed guy was standing over me asking if I was okay. I also passed out when I closed the car door on my thumb. I almost passed out from the sprained ankle, but was able to maintain consciousness.

So, my ankle still looks like it gave birth to another ankle and now they are both living happily under my skin. It looks great. If my camera wasn't in Puerto Rico, I'd take a picture for you (and by you, I mean my mom and Rachel's mom).

Not very exciting, I know, but it's a better story than, "The other day I was walking through the mall and tripped over nothing and busted into the running man so people wouldn't think I was an idiot."


rachel said...

um, i would also relish the picture of your ankle. although, i will pretend that you left me off the list because i saw it (or should i say "them"?) in person. have fun in atlanta. beware tropical storms.

Sara Luke said...

And Sara. you could also take the picture for Sara.

You know . . . your friend who likes to refer to herself in the third person.

heather.snider said...

I laughed out loud on this post. Mostly because I feel your pain and embarrassment. My husband calls me Crash sometimes and my friends husband called me Brain Damage in school...due to my softball head injury. Thanks for being funny too! I enjoy it!