When I was in college, I used to get these horrible migraines once or twice a month. I'm pretty sure they were stress induced. Since then, I don't seem to get them as frequently; I probably have three to four a year, and they are pretty manageable. Last night, though, the devil took up residency in my frontal lobe and poked me with his pitch fork until I wanted to die. I have never had such a horrible migraine. Come take a journey with me as I relive an experience that I can only liken to giving birth out of your eye.
There are probably several reasons why I had this migraine. I think top on the list, though, is the illegal doses of sugar I ingested yesterday. I'm serious. I probably ate an entire bag of whopper robin's eggs...for breakfast. Then, Ben brought me a doughnut for second breakfast. I thought that if I drank a glass of orange juice I would be satisfying my fruit serving for the day. My body is not used to eating so much sugar, which is crazy, because I'm pretty sure a few months ago I could have schooled Willy Wonka. I also think the schizophrenic weather patterns had a part to play, along with a stressful week last week.
I should have known I was going to have a migraine because a little before I left for work I started seeing auras and had spots in my vision. I'm not really sure why I didn't take anything. I left for work with an inkling of a headache but nothing serious. Ten minutes after I got to work, Satan began using my frontal lobe as a bass drum. I almost left my table a couple times to go throw up, but I was able to stick it out. It was by the grace of God that I was able to get through the very short two hours of work.
As I drove home, I sought out any bridge I could drive off of to make the pain go away. When I got home, I whined all the way to the couch and laid there writhing. Ben told me to take something. I didn't have anything in my stomach, though, and was afraid taking something would make my nausea worse. I couldn't take it, though; my head felt as if a baby was going to start crowning from my eye. You should know that when I have a migraine, I take on this hunchback form. It's as if standing up straight will make things worse. So I hobbled to the kitchen and choked down some medicine. Ten minutes later, I threw up (actually, dry heaved). Five seconds after that I started crying. One minute later, I crawled to my bed and asked someone to chop off my head. There was no one in my room, so no one acquiesced.
Ben came in a little later and told me to come out and eat something. I cried all the way out to the family room. I sat on the couch for a minute before the sun-like brightness of our two table lamps made me want to tear my eyes out. Also, the smell of food made things worse. I hobbled/crawled back to my bed where I prayed for the sweet release of death. I couldn't even lay my head on my pillow.
Four hours later when Ben came to bed, I still had the migraine. Still!!! Dear God, it was horrible. I had that migraine for seven hours. SEVEN HOURS!! That is longer than I was in labor. I kept asking for an epidural, but, again, I was talking to myself.
Today, I have had a few aftershocks, but nothing bad. It was some of the worst pain I have ever experienced. I would not wish it on anybody. Not even Alex Trebek, and I can't stand that guy.