Monday, March 3, 2008

WARNING: This Post is about Zits.

You have been warned.

So, ever since I started teaching this year, my skin has taken part in some sort of mutinous revolt...against my face! I don't know if my skin feels like it needs to empathize with the pubescent teenagers in my life, or if it knows I stand in front of judgmental pubescent teenagers all day and it needed a good laugh. Whatever the reason, my skin has not been without an ugly blemish since Sept. 6. Aaaand before you begin your "you're pregnant" predictions, I'm don't say it.

It's horrible. I don't know what to do short of sanding my face with a high-powered sander every night before I go to bed. I think, though, that would lead to a whole other mountain of problems including necessary cosmetic surgery.

I have hypothesized that it may be due to the mounds of stress that have taken up residence in the form of a permanent knot in my stomach. Or my pizza diet. Or my chocolate diet. Or my crisco face wash.

Okay and not to gross you out (mom), but I'm starting to get ugly ones on my neck (did you just throw up in your mouth a little?) It looks like a reverse vampire bite. I mean all I need now is the head gear and coke-bottle glasses and my reverse make-over will be complete. I'm not sure if my body entered some ugliest teacher contest without my permission...but as soon as the mustache starts to sprout I'll start preparing my victory speech.

P.S. Next time you see me...I'll understand if your gaze lands directly on the zit taking over my face.

1 comment:

rachel said...

oh. my. word.
you are too much. hilarious - and trust me, the last time i saw you, your complexion looked fine. :)