Up, Up and Away

Eli and I leave on a real life plane this Tuesday morning.  We're headed out to Cali for my grandpa's wedding.  Now, if you know me at all, you know that the element of the unknown is terrifying for me.  For me, right now, that unknown is Eli's behavior on a four hour plane ride.  FOUR HOURS!!!  This child hates sitting in his high chair for four minutes.  Also, he's a bit congested still from his latest cold.  So, please pray for us as we wing our way across the country.  If anything, we'll be someone's horrible plane story.


Also, if you have any Valium*...




*The Valium would be for me, not my child...and I was joking

The Buried Life

Let me start this by saying I know that I am not MTV's target audience.  I used to be a big Real World fan (until the train wreck that was the Vegas season, or, as I affectionately refer to it, the Sodom and Gomorrah season).  I used to watch some other shows (even, gasp, TRL--you know you did, too, Carson Daly lover).  I have somewhat glanced at 16 & Pregnant, but 10 minutes of that show has me searching for the nearest ledge. 

All this being said, I do not watch MTV.  Until a couple months ago.  I had just finished watching an adrenaline-filled hour of 24 (oh, Jack Bauer, you and your heavy breathing--why do we always have to hear Jack Bauer breathing hard--even when he's not doing anything physically grueling? Why, Chloe?) and was perusing through the channels when I landed on MTV and caught the opening spot for this show called The Buried Life.  The premise for the show is this: these four guys travel around the US trying to scratch off items from their 'bucket lists'.  They have compiled a list of 100 things they want to do before they die; some of them are easy-peasy and some of them, not so much.  Each episode showcases an attempt to cross an item off their list.  The episodes I've seen have included: asking out the girl of your dreams (for this  one they had to crash a movie premiere so that one of the guys could ask out Megan Fox), participating in a krump competition, playing basketball with President Obama and throwing a huge party.  They don't always succeed, but it's interesting to watch them try.

While the aforementioned is great, my favorite part of the show is what I guess you would call the subplot. During each episode, they try to make the dream of a random stranger come true.  For example, tonight's episode, this guy (who had been adopted) wanted to meet his real dad.  Last week, they reunited four boyhood friends.  Anyway, I think the show is great.  Maybe I should say, I think the idea behind the show is great.  As someone who's biggest accomplishment lately is showering,  the idea of carpe diem is appealing.  I love the altruistic element of the show.  You can read more about how it got started here.

Anyway, ever since I had Eli, the idea of my own mortality is something that's somewhat pervaded my thoughts.  Not in a "I want to find the fountain of youth" kind of way, but in a "Crap, I haven't really done anything to further the kingdom of God" kind of way.  I want to be a person that my child/children can point to as an example of a Godly woman.  I am blessed to know amazing women who inspire me daily by their purpose-driven lives (sorry for the Rick Warren allusion).  I read or hear about the varied ways they are making a difference in their communities/homes/work places/all of the above, and I think, "Perhaps having an alarming knowledge of  Friends trivia isn't going to cut it."  I've felt this push to do more.

What does more look like?  I don't know.  Maybe it means being a better mom -- being more creative, less lazy, more selfless.  Maybe it means looking for opportunities to serve (without going overboard and burning out).  Maybe it means learning how to knit and making booties for every resident in my husband's residence hall.  I don't know.  (Okay, so maybe the first one is a given.)  I know this post may sound completely egocentric, and I really don't mean it to be that way.  In fact I know what Ben would say if he read this, "So stop complaining and do something about it."

Man, it's annoying when he's right all the time.

In Town and Around

These last few days have been glorious as far as weather is concerned.  I feel like Eli and I have been hibernating all winter and this wintery thaw has allowed us to come out of our cave--pale skin and all.

 What, Spring, you're ready for us to come outside?  We.are.ready.

Yesterday, we took a walk to our local public library.  Now the next sentence will shock you, especially since I am an English major.  But, Internet, I have not had my own public library card since I lived in California, lo these 15 years.  Granted, I have had access to the university's library since 1999, but still, everyone should have a public library card.  Reading is fundamental.  So, we picked up a library card, accidentally logged the library off their computers and checked out a book.  We took our friend, Sara's, advice and checked out a Mo Willems book (Knuffle Bunny Too: A Case of Mistaken Identity, a compelling sequel to Knuffle Bunny:A Cautionary Tale).  It was the only Mo Willems book they had. (side note: I checked SAU's library catalog and they have six Mo Willems books, so...we may go there next time).  And then we headed home...kind of.

 Hat: Check; Coat: Check; Drink: Check; Shades: Check

We stopped at the plaza on campus (it's where the clock tower is) and I let Eli get in some exercise.  We got to the plaza the same time as a lot of classes were letting out and other classes were starting.  So, there were a lot of students around whilst Eli was walking around.  Something you should know about Eli is that he is fearless.  He's recently taken to walking up to strangers (usually men) and putting his arms up indicating he wants them to pick him up.  Awesome.  So a student would walk by and he would start following him or her with his hands in the air waiting for said student to pick him up.  Only the female students would oblige him.  So, next time I need a babysitter, I guess I'll just plunk him down in the middle of campus...I mean someone will pick him up.  I.AM.KIDDING.  Also, he found every muddy area of grass in the tri-state area and sat down/fell down in it.  Awesome again.  I knew it was time to go home when he walked up to a bench and laid his head down on it--and kept it there for more than 5 seconds.  We quickly stopped in to say hi to grandma Mary and then went home.

My little college student

 We saw Sasquatch going for a jog. Hard to tell, but it is him. He frequents the Arbor.

  Eli and the Concept: treasures of Spring Arbor

What? I am not heading for that big puddle.

 Doing some thinking

 Snuggle-pup with grandma

After Eli had his afternoon snack, I eagerly brought out our new library book and began reading it to Eli who, incidentally, could have cared less.  I mean my head could have been on fire and I could have transformed into Thomas the train while I was reading to him, and he would not have given me a second look.  Who can listen to his mother when Duplos are in the room just waiting to be dumped out of their bucket?  I ask you?  Anyway, I was giving the story my best voices, and the kid was oblivious.  I thoroughly enjoyed it, though.  I told Ben he should read it, and he said that he really doesn't like to read a whole book in one day.  I mean Goodnight Gorilla is a stretch for him. (side note: I hope that my sarcasm is seeping through enough so that you know that my husband is kidding...he reads to Eli...a lot.)

And the bonus to all this glorious weather, Eli is so tired at the end of the day due to his out-and-about roaming that bedtime is a easy-peasy.

PPO On An Owl

For Eli's birthday, I bought this owl balloon to go along with the owl theme.  Since then, the owl has become a little too comfortable.  I'll often wake up in the middle of the night only to see his menacing shadow in our kitchen.  Or I'll be coming home and see his crazy eyes peering out at me from our window.  Before I go to bed now, I'll move him to a location in the house where I'm sure he will not be seen should I happen to wake up during the night.

Below is a photographic glimpse into our nightmare.  I would pop him, but I'm afraid he'd come back to haunt me.  I'm just lucky I had a camera on hand to capture the horror.

A futile attempt to entangle my child.  Look at Eli take him down.

A view from our bedroom

Waiting for my arrival home

  BEHIND YOU!!!

(we don't usually have random guitars or gift bags on our couch)

What?  I do not have too much time on my hands.

Rachel's List

I'm stealing this idea from my gorgeous, brilliant, hilarious friend Rachel.  I'm hoping the compliments will soften the plagiarism blow.  

 

Reading: Middlemarch by George Eliot 

Listening: A mellifluous mix of Arcade Fire, Ray LaMontagne, Cat Power and Priscilla Ahn

Watching: Modern Family, HGTV,  Lost and 24 (and Full House...not going to lie)

Cooking: I made venison tacos the other night.  

 

Eating: Honey Nut Cheerios (the only sweet I'm allowing myself right now)

Wishing: It were summer.  Eli and I have some serious cabin fever.

Thinking: I need a haircut. Stat.  Also, trying to come up with creative in-door activities to do with a one-year old.  Suggestions?

Craving: Hostess cupcakes...sweet, wonderful Hostess cupcakes. 

Excited About: flying to California to visit family and attend grandpa's wedding. 

Laughing At: Eli's dancing.  OH.EM.GEE.  He dances to everything right now.  He gets this huge grin on his face and starts bopping up and down.  Rhythm is gonna get ya. 

Annoyed With: Complacency.  And belly fat.

Feeling Bad: That I had a frozen pizza for dinner and not the sensible turkey sandwich I was planning to make.  Working until 7:30 makes it hard to be sensible for dinner.

Missing: my grandma.  Eli pulled one of my treasured Ramona Quimby books from my bookcase, and I opened it up to see my grandmother's handwriting, "Jeanette, I thought you would like this. Love, Grandma.  Christmas 1988" 

Loving: the movie Whip It.  If I didn't cry when I stubbed my toe, I'm pretty sure I'd be rad at roller derby.

Planning: to make brownies for my 'ladies with babies' group tomorrow.

 

You'll Lose Your Blues in Chicago

I think Chicago is probably one of my favorite places.  Granted, I haven't been anywhere, but I love Chicago.  This past weekend my mom, sister and I traveled to Chicago for a couple days to celebrate my and Carrie's birthdays.  Most of you won't care about these pictures, but I wanted to post them for Carrie and my mom to see.  We had a fun time shopping, gaining back all the weight I've lost and laughing.  Here's our weekend in pictures for you visual learners.

 

Waiting for our train

 

On our way

 Amalfi Hotel (awesome)

 Eating at Giordano's

Shopping on State St.

 Carrie near the old water tower on Michigan Ave.

Sweet bliss

Fun to come home to

Post Script: We also saw Shutter Island while we were there.  It was my first Martin Scorsese film.  But I have to say, I really liked it.  I should caution you that there is this one scene where you see some prisoners/patients in the buff (the frontal buff).  Also, Mark Ruffalo is in it and I think he's great.  

Post Post Script: Did you know that the sales tax in Chicago is 10%?  I'm sure you did, but WHAT?  That's a crime.  

Post Post Post Script: If you value your brain, do not see Couples Retreat.  We watched it one night in the hotel room, and by the time it ended, I couldn't remember my fact families--that's how much of my brain was damaged by watching such a stupid movie. 

 

Eli at 12 Months

Eli, Eli-oh. I cannot believe a WHOLE year has gone by. There is so much I could write about how this year has changed me, but I don't think anything would truly capture the experience. Honestly, I still feel like I'm adjusting to mommyhood. I was talking with a friend about a month ago and I admitted that I didn't feel like I was a natural mommy. I'm not sure I was equipped with a mother's intuition. Every time I've gone with my instincts (before you were born), I either made someone mad, said something stupid, embarrassed myself or all of the above. I question my judgment with you all the time. There are times when I ask your father a question about something we should do for you, and he'll look at me and say, "You're the mama." Yikes. Too. Much. Power.

I'm not one of those women who makes her own babyfood (lucky for you) or knits your clothes out of dryer lint. I haven't taught you how to read yet or solve quadratic equations. There are days when we don't leave the apartment (the very tiny apartment). Sometimes I get frustrated with you. I enjoy having moments of alone time. I probably have the t.v. on too much. I worry if I'm stimulating your brain enough. Am I giving you the right foods? Should I be reading you Tolstoy or Faulkner? All this and with a defective instinct mechanism. There is so much I'm unsure of. Except...

Except that I love you. I love you the best I know how. I love you so much that it sometimes brings me to tears. I would throw myself in front of moving traffic for you (standstill traffic would be preferable, but I would do moving). You have taught me a lot about love and selflessness; you have taught me about forgiveness. I feel like you've provided me with a small glimpse into the heart of God. I know the love I have for you is minuscule compared to God's love, but it's an amazing feeling. I don't know if this is enough. Maybe you'll tell your future therapist that your crippling anxiety issues stem from your mother's incessant singing or her insane knowledge of Full House trivia. "Yes, but did she love you?" she'll ask. I hope you can give a resounding yes.

I'm anticipating that the next 17 years are going to fly by based on the warp-speed nature of this first year. I just want to slow time down (sometimes reverse it...I would be so much better at getting you to sleep in your crib the second time around). Each night that I get to rock with you (not the Michael Jackson song), I think about where God is going to lead you. What are his plans for you? And there is this bossy voice in my head that starts telling God what to do. I mean I can't even figure out my camera, and I'm bossing the creator of the universe? And there's the teachable moment. You are going to grow up. You will fall down (both figuratively and literally), and all I can do is make sure you know that you are not alone (wow with the Michael Jackson references). I know what I am writing is somewhat repetitious of previous posts to you, but I don't want you to ever doubt my (or your dad's) love for you. My prayer for you, sweet boy, is that you grow up to be a virtuous, loving man (you have an incredible role model in your father). It's my hope that you pursue a life that is centered around God's will. I know that you are going to make mistakes, you're going to have bad days, you may even wear socks with sandals (gasp). It's okay. One time I wedged your grandparents' van in between two trees. We all do dumb stuff. But I hope you learn from these mistakes and push forward to be the best person you can be.

All photos by Sara Luke

So..kind of deep for a first birthday. Sorry. You will discover that I'm not the most mellow of people. Again, sorry. I hope that year two is as great as year one. You've set the bar pretty high. I mean you already laugh when either your dad or I flatulate (fancy pants way of saying toot). How much more awesome could it get?

(this is a very basic 'video' or photo journey of your first year. not sure if it will work, because I'm somewhat computer illiterate)