Thirty, Flirty and Thriving

If you haven't seen 13 Going on 30,  a.) why not? and b.) that's where I got the title for my post.  If you have been living in a cave for the last couple months then you may not know that this Friday marks the 30th anniversary of my entrance into this world. Also known as my 20-10 birthday.  So, I don't think I'm flirty anymore, or ever was, and the word thriving makes me think of Eli as a young baby.  "Is he thriving?"  Totally freaked me out when I would read that.  I don't know...is he?  Dear God, IS HE???!!

Anyway.

I've thought about what sage words I wanted to share with my fan (hey, Rachel).  How can I perfectly capture the past decade? I wanted to bid my 20s adieu with some style.  And what says style more than (bddddddddddd--that's my drumroll) -- a TOP 10 LIST FROM MY 20s!!! (3 exclamation points totally warranted). I've decided to recap the 10 most memorable moments from the past ten years of my life. Narrowing it down to 10 was tricky...because, let's face it, I'm awesome.  But, narrow it I did. 

I'm going to post three a day...you know...because...I don't know...stop with the interrogation...geez.

We'll start with 10 and work our way down (not sure why I'm using the pronouns we/our...maybe it's my 30 year old brain losing its way).

10. Broadway Bound: I likes me some musical theater.  I have a playlist on my IPod entitled: Broadway Beats.  Also, I love to sing dramatically, which I know may shock you because I am not a very dramatic person (somewhere my mother is rolling her eyes).  I am totally an eyes-closed singer, which makes singing while I drive an interesting adventure.  In my early twenties I got to be a part of two amazing musical theater productions: The Mikado and Into the Woods.
The Mikado was my first (and, sadly, only) foray into community theater.  My super awesome, super flamboyant voice instructor got me to audition, and I am so glad he did.  I got to meet and work with some very talented, very gracious, very awesome people.  Also, the name of my character: Yum-Yum.  Oh, and I played a Geisha.  Oh, Gilber and Sullivan...you crazy guys.
Into the Woods was put on by Spring Arbor University and directed by my very awesome, very flamboyant voice instructor.  There's something about being part of a theater ensemble.  You bond very quickly with people you may have otherwise never developed friendships.  Everyone in that cast was incredible, and, to pepper some Swayze on this, I had the time of my life. 

9. From Lowell with Love: My most cherished college memories include some of the most incredible women I will ever know.  I lived in Lowell Hall my first three years of college and then a house my senior year with these incredible women.  I knew I could count on these girls for anything.  They saw me at my worst (and believe me, I was pretty self-absorbed in college. Not like now...writing on my blog...about me.  *cough*cough*) and experienced my best with me.  Since college, we've all scattered (not me so much, but everyone else).  I think about them often. 

8. London Calling: The summer between my junior and senior year I had the opportunity to travel to the UK.  For a literary nerd like myself, visiting the stomping grounds of some of my favorites was sublime: Austen, Shakespeare, Tolkien, Dickens, Byron, Rowling (no, I am not comparing JK Rowling with Tolkien, but have you read Harry Potter?  Come on.)  Also, I got to travel with one of my best friends from college and hilarity abounded.  Cristin and I were very different in our approach to travel.   She was very organized,  I was very not.  She studied maps for our next day's adventures meticulously every night, I watched trashy British television.  She looked fabulous after five hour train rides, I looked like a hot mess.  It was a little tense sometimes, but it was hilarious the whole time.  It was the most incredible trip, even if I didn't get to see Nessie.

 At London Tower

Here's a preview for tomorrow: Puerrrto Rrrrrico, I believe the children are our future aaaannnd...

We Didn't Start the Fire...

I would say that last week made for interesting blog fodder.  I was asked to leave a building,  I had a life size Edward Cullen cutout in my apartment for a few hours (sweet bliss), I enjoyed my first massage (heavenly bliss), and (drum roll please) I set the fire alarm off in our building.  This post will be dedicated to the last item on the list.

Eli is in love with pancakes, so I have been making them every morning for the last couple weeks.  Let's be honest, I am in love with pancakes, too.  And syrup.  Delicious, pancreas destroying syrup.  Mmmmmm....syrup.  What?  Oh yeah...this post.  Aaaanyway, I decided to make some sausage with our pancakes last Friday. 

So, cooking the pancakes, cooking the sausage.  Feeling so proud of my domesticity.  And then my pride was all, "dude, I'm here now, but guess what's coming next?"  I lifted the lid to the cooking sausage to discover they were starting to burn.  No problem, just take them off the heat...and we'll be okaBEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Our smoke detector went off.  No problem.  Except that our smoke detector tripped the building's fire alarm.  The BUILDING!  The alarm was going off in the whole building.  The dorm building that houses 200+ slumbering college students.  The fire alarm was going off at 8:30 in the morning, which is like 5:00 a.m. to college students, right?  Oh, and it's mid-January, so the weather outside was slightly frightful.

So Ben goes out and tries to get the alarm to shut off, but the smoke detector in our apartment was still detecting smoke, so he couldn't.  I should also mention that someone thought it would be a great idea to put a smoke detector two feet away from our stove. What the what?

Students, mid-REM sleep, are groggily filing out of the building into the blustery morning air (many of them wearing shorts), cursing me with their eyes.  At least that's how I felt.  In reality, though, nobody, aside from Ben, Eli and...THE POLICE CHIEF who was the first to respond to the alarm, knew it was because of me.  That's right...THE POLICE CHIEF.  Because friends, when an alarm goes off in a dorm building, the fire department is immediately notified. 

Oh, also, I'm in my pajamas with my sleepy face on.  It's really pretty.  You may have seen it when you passed gross road kill that one time...gross road kill and my morning face bear an uncanny resemblance.  Oh, and Eli is freaking out because something is making an ear-wrenching sound and it isn't him.

So then...the FIRE TRUCK PULLS UP!  So...to recap: students filing out of building at 8:30 a.m., police chief on scene, three maintenance guys on scene, sleepy road kill face on display, ear-splitting alarm going off, toddler terrified, fire truck on scene.

Luckily, Ben is on the fire department, so they all know us and thought it was funny.  Not haha funny, but your wife can't cook funny.  They just kind of laughed it off, the alarm was reset, students grumbled back into the building, and the burnt sausage was tossed in the trash.  Ben was super awesome about the whole thing.  However, I'm not expecting any friend requests from the residents in our building.

Elijah Parker: The Piccolo Pete of South Central Michigan - 23 Months

This month, my lovely, has been loud, frustrating, embarrassing and wonderful.  We've been asked to leave an academic building, you learned to base jump climb out of your crib and split your lip open in the process, the stomach flu hit you with its best shot, you experienced your second Christmas and, on the diabetic front, you discovered M & Ms.

Let's start with being asked to leave the academic building.  This past month you've developed this habit wherein you scream when you don't get your way and/or are hungry.  Now, I've mentioned that you scream in previous updates, but nothing compares to the unabashed sound you now make.  I've started referring to you as my piccolo pete.  For those of you unfamiliar with this ear-wrenching product, I've copied the urban dictionary definition:

 A small tube firework that emits a loud, piercing screech for about 30 seconds. Very loud and annoying. Can be used to make homemade fireworks.

My friend, it is the.MOST.annoying sound in the universe.  It sounds as if I am removing one of your vital organs without the aid of anesthesia.  Also, it's really embarrassing.  I know you know it's embarrassing.  You look at me with this knowing look right before you do it...much like the look I'll give you right before I do the worm at your senior prom.  When we're at home, you have to sit in your time out chair for two minutes when you do it.  We'll come to get you, you say "sawwey, mama" (sorry, mama), you come out to play, you make the same sound 5 minutes later, you go back in your chair.  It's a dance we have mastered beautifully.  When we're out and about, though, I sadly cannot bring the time out chair with me.  And you know it. 

The other night we were at a restaurant, and you just kept screaming (due to hunger) and you wouldn't stop.  I took you out of the restaurant a few times to talk you off your ledge, but you would come right back in and scream.  I overheard a teenager telling you to shut-up.  When she saw that I heard her say it, she averted her eyes in shame...that's right, girly...avert those eyes.  No one tells my kid to shut-up even if it is warranted!! Got it?!  I digress.  Once an angel from the lord delivered our food, and  you inhaled three pieces of pizza, you were fine. 

THEN. Last week, our friend Sara was taking your two year old pictures.  I decided we might get some good pics in the Pohling Center, which is an academic building on campus at SAU.  You were pretty well behaved at the beginning.  We were in the stairwell, taking some shots of you playing with your trains and climbing up and down the stairs. You would make the occasional yelps of merriment with a sporadic frustrated screech.  Students were out and about taking a break from classes.  Life was beautiful.  And then...darkness descended.  You were done taking pictures, and you decided to let us and the whole building know with a rendition of some death metal song.  Sara helped me get you down from the stairs, and we prepared to leave while you were screeching.  And then, my parent-of-the-year award was delivered by a trying-to-be-as-nice-as-possible-even-though-he-was-clearly-frustrated professor who told us we were disrupting classes and could we please leave.  A.w.e.s.o.m.e.  Before you, dear reader, point your duh finger at me, let me just say, I know my child was being disruptive, which is why we were trying to leave...okay?  Also, he's two...so just...you know...go tell your mom.

So, there's that.

 In other awesome news, you learned to climb out of your crib.  The first night was after an aftershock throw up.  A few nights earlier, you were horribly sick, throwing up every 15 minutes for several hours.  It was torture to watch you feel so miserable.  It was a 24 hour thing, and you were very soon back to your normal self.  A few days later, I think we overdid it with the food and you threw up again.  It was just once.  But, I decided to sleep in your room on the air mattress just in case you did it again.  Big mistake.  While I was trying to fall asleep, you were going through your word repertoire, firing out every word you knew...you know, to impress me.  Then, when I turned my back to you, you landed on me pile-driver style.  It was the first time you had successfully climbed out of your crib.  Needless to say, you were delighted.  

Fast forward to a few nights later to a lapse in my parental judgment.  Grandma and Grandpa Parker were staying over, which delighted you to your very core, and then, here comes the lapse, I gave you a cupcake at 8:00...AT NIGHT.  So, the fact that gma and gpa were over compounded with the overdose of sugar made bed time super fun.  Twenty minutes after we put you down, you came walking down the hall like it was normal.  "Hey everybody, whatcha you doing? Watching a movie? That's cool. Can I have some popcorn? No?"  At least that's what you would have said if you had my inner-monologue going on.  We put you back in, you got back out.  We let you try to fall asleep with us...you thought it was time to party.  We put you back in your crib, you began to scream.  We heard a horrible thump...louder screaming.  I rushed in and found you on the floor with a split lip and bruised face.  So, we tried the toddler bed for .0087 seconds until we realized we'd rather be forced to watch Glitter.  Your father, in his infinite wisdom, decided to buy us some time and turned your crib around (you know, because the back is higher than the front).   Which seems to be working....for now.

 (Parenting Lapse Exhibit A)

Aside from the screaming, though, you grow more and more wonderful every second.  You love to help out around the house.  Every time I unload the dishwasher, you're there to help...and we've only broken one dish in the process.  You'll push the vacuum for me, throw things away, help me load the washing machine.  You're the most adorable personal assistant. 

 (helping dad)

It's important to stay hydrated. 

You are not stingy with the kisses and hugs either.  Last week, we met Aunt Carrie for dinner.  When you saw her waiting for us, you screamed "Ca-wie!!"  When we started to get ready to leave, you kept giving her kisses and hugs.  It made me want to stop time.  You love when your Auntie Em comes to visit.  Whenever I say to you, "Guess who's coming over today?" you shout "Emimmy!!!" (Emily) You love your grandparents.  The other day we were in downtown Jackson and you kept shouting, "Papa! Papa! Papa!" (grandpa).  So we stopped by at his work to say hi.  You were in heaven.  There's nothing more thrilling for you than a trip to see gaga and papa (both mine and your dad's parents).  Usually, you are laughing, dancing, telling a good joke.  You definitely love life. 

 Dancin' it up with your New Year's Dates

It's wonderful to know that there are so many people that care for and love you.  You will never want for love and affection.  What a blessing that you get to grow up in a world like that.  What a blessing to know that there are Godly people in your life who want nothing but the best for you.  I am humbled by so much love.  And I am humbled by you, my sweet boy.  My heart is full.

Mister Independent - Eli at 22 Months

Yesterday, you, grandma and I ventured over snow covered roads to a magical place called Ann Arbor.  Now, I took my chances with this trip because I knew you would be foregoing your daily nap.  A risky wager, my friend.  Usually when you don't get your nap...well, people die...they just stop living.  But I like to live on the edge, so away we went. 

Usually when we shop, you're fine for the first 20 minutes or so.  About 20 minutes in, though,  you have some sort of epileptic fit for which the only cure is going home or a box of cookies (which I never give you...I mean who would do that...cough, cough...stop looking at me like that).  And that's just grocery shopping.  When we go to the mall, it's like I'm taking you to get a lobotomy.  You.hate.it.  So, I was a little wary to take you out on the coldest day of man's existence, during lunch time, knowing you would miss your nap and you would be in a mall.  However, this time I had my mom to run interference, I packed enough snacks to keep your sugar levels at satisfactory levels, I brought your cars (a necessary item any time we leave the house now), along with a partridge in a pear tree.

My dear Elijah, you were an angel.  There were a couple times here and there where we would go in a direction you didn't want to go, and you simply just lay down to show your protest.  You didn't throw yourself down or pound your fists and kick when you lay down.  You didn't even scream.  You would just lie down and say very matter-of-factly, "no".  It seemed as if you were taking a little rest on the I-don't-even-want-to-think-how-disgusting floor of Briarwood.  And it was pretty easy to lure you away from your awake nap.  It usually just took showing you your me-me (pacifier in Eli) or one of your trucks. 

It.was.awesome.  Thank you.

As with any other month, you never cease to surprise and shatter my expectations.  Month 22 has been one in which your verbal skills have taken off.  You communicate so much more clearly, you mimic lines from Toy Story (the only thing you want to watch except for an occasional Thomas video), you ask to go see people (like daddy's friend Jacob or your friend Ben or Gaga and Gampa).  And it all seemed to happen overnight. 

 

You've got a little something on your face there.

 

 

(juice break with your bestie, Ben)

 

You definitely like things done a certain way, too.  You have to have every stuffed animal you own in your crib with you while you sleep.  It's quite the stuffed menagerie.  Elmo must accompany you whenever we leave the house.  You line up your cars a certain way, and if I try to mess with the system you shoot fire from your eyes.  Your grandpa watched you this past Saturday morning.  And as your typical procedure requires, he made you your oatmeal and gave it to you complete with your standard five spoons.  A little after he gave it to you, he thought it still might be a little too warm, so he added some milk.  And then all the puppies in the world died.  You were shocked. Dismayed. How could he have done that?!  What's next?  Grape jelly instead of your standard strawberry? Disgusted at this departure from normalcy, you refused to eat any more of the obviously ruined oatmeal.

It's so interesting to see you exerting your independence in such a way.  There is a way you like things done and it doesn't always go along with how your father and I do things (sometimes this is more exasperating than endearing).  I love that you feel secure enough to be independent.  You still cling to my leg (which I secretly love) in unfamiliar situations or when animals attack, but usually you like to leave my side to explore and figure things out for yourself.  I hope you always have this security.  I hope you know that no matter how far away you go, your father and I will always be here when you come back. (Side note: I mostly mean this figuratively.  You're really not allowed to leave my sight when we're out in public.)

Falling Behind in the Radvent

 So I meant to do this yesterday, but then...I didn't.  I, like my friend Rachel, l-o-v-e creating play lists.  Even more, I like relating things to my life.  Combine the two, and we have narcissistic bliss.  So, I'm going to go month by month.

Radvent Day 4: Rocking Out

Write down the soundtrack of your year so far. Play it for someone who loves you.

January:  "I Still Care for You" - Ray LaMontagne
If "they" ever wrote a love story about me and Ben and then adapted the story for screen, this is the song that would play when they did a montage of our sweetest moments. 

February: "In a Tree" - Priscilla Ahn
I chose this song for a photo montage of Eli's first year.  I love that it has a playful innocence to it.  It was the perfect fit for a collection of pictures detailing the first year of one of the most playful people I know.

March: "Us" - Regina Spektor
I don't think I listened to any other song on my Ipod for days after buying this song.  I couldn't believe that I didn't already know about it prior to 2010.  It's such a whimsical song.  I love her.

April: Three-Way Tie
 "I Already Know" - Mandy Mapes
Thank you, Rachel Parton for suggesting this song.  April was a tough month, and this song was a comfortable reminder of God's unrelenting grace and protection. 

"Your Hands" - JJ Heller
Another great one during Awful April (the official name of April 2010).  Favorite lyrics, "When my world is shaking, Heaven stands.  When my heart is breaking, I never leave Your hands."
  
"...And As the Ship Went Down" - Woodpigeon
This song is orchestral perfection.  I love the vocals, I love the instrumentation, I love everything about it.  It was on repeat a lot. And I actually think I did something to the speakers in my car b/c I blasted this (when Eli wasn't in the car, of course...cough...cough).

May: (don't laugh) "Sweet Dreams" -Beyonce
I started running outside in May, because that's when it was warm enough for me to run outside without getting that blood taste in the back of my throat thanks to frigid temps.  What?  That doesn't happen to you?  Me neither.  Aaaanyway.  This song was my first song during my runs.  EVERY.TIME. It's actually not a really good running song, but it got me on the road.

June: "Rebellion (Lies)" - Arcade Fire
This was another running song which became an Eli/Mama dance party song.  Fun song.  My hope is to see Arcade Fire in concert before I get so old that people think I'm there to drop off my teenage kid.

July: "Curs in the Weeds" - Horse Feathers
Great lazy summer day song.  If I had a front porch and lived in Montana during the summer, this song would constantly play.  I don't, though, so it played in my Element on repeat.

August: "Don't Rain on my Parade" - Barbara Streisand
I went through a Babs revival in August.  I simply adore her and wish we could be friends.  But she's pretty liberal and we'd probably get in arguments.  If I ever win a karaoke contest, it will be to this song. 

September: "Beg, Steal or Borrow" - Ray LaMontagne
This is off his latest c.d.  It definitely has a country twang to it, but I am still in love with it, as September can atest.

October: "Go Do" - Jonsi
Musical nirvana.  That's it.  I love this whole album and "Tornado" was a very close second.  Go buy this c.d. right now (unless you don't want to...it's cool).

November: "Dog Days are Over" - Florence + The Machine
This is a good dance party song.  You can't help but smile when you listen to it...which is great during stressful holiday times...like when a woman yells at you on Black Friday at Target...just as a random example.

December: "O Holy Night" - Sufjan Stevens
One of my favorite Christmas songs sung by one of my favorite artists -- it's beautiful.

Once Again, Stealing from Rachel

I found this on Rachel's blog, who I think got it from someone else's blog.  Anyway, I love the idea of (r)advent blog posts.  So, I'll give this one a try.

Radvent Day 4: Forgiveness

Practice forgiving about small, everyday things. Who and what are you ready to let go of resentment toward?

I have actually written four apology letters to people I once knew.  I have yet to send them out, because I haven't built up the courage.  I know that these people deserve my apologies.  And honestly, I'm not really expecting forgiveness, but I want them to know that I am aware I treated them poorly and am deeply sorry.  I'll send them someday.  In this same vein, I feel that I need to forgive myself of so many things.

Additionally, there are far more people who deserve an apology from me than there are people who need my forgiveness...FAR MORE! 

That being said, this post requires that I forgive.  So, I'm not going to be completely forthcoming, because this is the Internet and you don't need to be all up in my bi'ness, Internet (she writes fully aware of the irony that she has a blog).  Some of these are serious, and some of them...not so much. 

• I forgive the sister of my childhood babysitter who I would overhear talking about how annoying I was.
• I forgive myself for periodic lapses in judgment in my life.
• I forgive that girl in middle school who said I looked like a small dog.
• I forgive that guy in high school who incessantly made fun of me because of my stupid haircut.
• I forgive the writers of Friends who let me down in Season 10.
• I forgive my high school history teacher for showing North and South instead of teaching us history.
• I forgive Netflix for suggesting Confessions of a Shopaholic to me.
• I forgive Ann Curry for being so annoying to watch.
• I forgive the unfriendly people in my church youth group.
• I forgive the principal who told me I had a job at his school and then didn't give me a second interview (I also forgive myself for blowing the first interview).
• I forgive that girl in college who made me feel horrible for something I didn't do. 
• I forgive those people who can't seem to get my name right.
• I forgive the professor who gave me my first F on a test.  
• I forgive the three cavities in my mouth that have made it impossible for me to enjoy Grape Nuts.
• I forgive the student who made me question why I wanted to be a teacher.
• I forgive that student who told me I looked old and had a lot of wrinkles.

This next one is the hardest and the one I've wrestled with the most.

• I forgive the woman who took my grandmother away from me. 

Sorry to lay that heavy one on you last.  So to break the tension...here's an added one:

• I forgive NBC for Passions. 

Formal-Wear Pajamas

Yesterday morning I walked into Eli's room and found that he had modified his pajamas.  His fashion line should be hitting stores this spring. 

(In case you were wondering, the pajama shirt comes equipped with two sleeves. 

He went to bed with both sleeves on.)