Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Wherein I Scream Into a Pillow

Stress, thy name is Jeanette. I taught a unit in my Psychology class over stress. Each day of the unit I would introduce a different technique to help my students deal with stress in their lives. Over the last week, I have employed all of them to no avail. I've taken deep breaths, I have done some yoga stretches, I've listened to music, I've prayed, I've taken a walk. I've done all of these, and my intestines still seem to be vying for the most complicated knot in the history of knots.

Why all the stress you say (or maybe you don't care--so stop reading, jerk! ... I'm sorry, I didn't mean that--I'm just really stressed)? This weekend I am leaving my little boy for three whole days! This college class I'm teaching requires the students to experience a sort of survival weekend up north, and my group goes this weekend.

Traveling usually stresses me out. I hate HATE packing. I would rather watch CSPAN with closed captioning for 24 hours. Do you understand how much I HATE it? To add insult to injury, I have to figure out how to pack so that I don't freeze whilst sleeping in the woods, up north, in a makeshift shelter with a forecast of rain. ... So there's that.

Then, there's the stress of trying to get things done at home so that my absence will be felt as minimally as possible. I need to make sure Eli's clothes are laundered and his food stocked. I need to make sure Ben's weekend will run smoothly sans a parenting partner.

Finally, there is the stress of leaving my child overnight for the first time since his birth. Seriously, this has had me in tears. I cannot even comprehend what it will be like to not see him for three days. Will my heart just stop? Just stop beating? Will I die? Will I just fall over and die? (WHAT IF I GET H1N1?) I have every ounce of faith that Ben will do a wonderful job on his own; that's not my damage. I just am really sad to leave him.

Okay, I'm going to go scream into a pillow.

6 comments:

DJ George said...

Just bring Eli a rock and tell him it's a puppy you adopted for him "up north." Call it Fluffy and allow it to sleep in your bed.

He'll love having mommy go away, as long as he knows that she's going to be bringing great gifts when she returns.

Make sure to include Fluffy in all the holiday photos so Eli never forgets his puppy.

adorkable::: said...

I will pray for you.

ann said...

The breathing works for me. If ever it doesn't work, I just keep doing it.

Chass & Jeremy said...

It will be okay. Think of it as really good daddy bonding time. It will fly by and you will be home before you know it. Good Luck!

rachel said...

First - oh my gosh! Are you teaching a CORE class?!?!?!?

Second - You will make it. I'm praying for you & this first long separation.

Third - If you are, indeed, teaching CORE, cut off the chicken's head. This is a scientifically proven method of stress relief.

rachel said...

also - love your new header :)