Saturday, May 23, 2009

Dear Postpartum Body

Dear Postpartum Body,

We are not friends. I was prepared for changes. I mean you can't carry around a 7 lb baby and not expect changes, but come on. Let's talk about the massive amounts of hair that fall out with each shower. What's that about? And the gas? Um, it was "cute" when I could blame it on the pregnancy, but now it's just disgusting. I'm pretty sure Ben has a call into his lawyer. You even attacked my fingers. I didn't think fingers could gain weight.

I remember the days of normal looking hips and a tummy that didn't jiggle when I walked. Gone are the days when I could eat pizza for every meal and be okay. Gone are the days when Jujyfruits sufficed as a meal. I didn't really get a chance to say goodbye. I think that's what makes it the hardest.

Well, I hope you're enjoying yourself, fatty. I hope you're having a great time because the laughs are about to end. I plan to resurrect pre-baby body. That's right. If I have to limit my pizza intake to once a week, I'm willing to make that sacrifice. If I have to nix Oreos, I will do it. You will not beat me.



Chass & Jeremy said...

I love your blog! You crack me up, And I totally agree about the body changes. For the first few weeks the weight loss was so great that I felt really good about it, my body that is. But now that it has stopped and I am "getting used to" what I am now- somehow I feel even bigger than I did pregnant?!? How is that possible?

Jen Decker said...

Yeah, about that hair loss... I hear ya! I'm pretty sure I'll be bald here in a couple weeks.

hashifa vachoo said...

It gets better! Trust me. Every month more and more will go back to normal. Just don't torture yourself by trying on your old jeans everyday like I did.

Beth said...

amen, about hair falling out. my youngest is 2 and it's STILL not the same. is there a hair club for women? incidentally, this phenomenon didn't actually occur until my fourt. boo! :(